Noise to Signal

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Noise to Signal

Rough justice on the digital frontier

Old West sheriff to prisoner: Rustlers, we hang. Claim-jumpers, we hang. But fer you comment-spamming fellers, we use a melon-baller.

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We plan to market it as "Baby XL Pro 2009"

(lawyer talking to woman in hospital bed with baby) ...And of course, if you accept Microsoft's bid for your baby, you would be welcome to stay on as part o the leadership team.

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I don't care how many contacts he has... he's going home alone tonight

(woman to man at bar) What are you doing..? Omigod! You're checking out my LinkedIn profile, aren't you?!

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Something's going around

(one computer user to another) Is it feed a virus, starve a cross-site scripting exploit, or feed a cross-site scripting exploit, starve a virus?

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And a Twitter fan isn't really a credit reference

(banker to young applicant) Kid, maybe it's a generational thing. But 'get bought by Google' just doesn't strike me as a business model.

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Accepting on behalf of lonelygirl15 will be lonelygirl16

(parent to teen sprawled on bed) Cheer up, sweetheart. Maybe NEXT year the Oscars will have a category for Best YouTube Diary.

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Oh, admit it: you'd take this job in a heartbeat

(woman at a party) I made my millions coming up with cute names for market segments.

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Mind jumping through this hoop?

(Two consultants facing a lion-tamer with a whip; one speaks) I may be dating myself, but I can remember when this wasn't part of the RFP process.

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Here's looking at you

(surveillance camera talking to computer user) Don't you think joining that "Facebook, stop invading my privacy!" group is a little... I don't know... paranoid?